There is a thing going round Facebook. It’s a lot like ebola, I think, because it seems that when you contract it, it kinda percolates for a little while before forcing things out that probably should have stay inside. That’s right, it’s the 25 things meme, as seen in proper magazines and forums, not to mention Facebook.
I am, of course, going to play. But I’m setting some rules. My list is going to be mainly about drinking. It just seems more appropriate.
- I don’t like whisky as much as I feel I should.
- A classic strawberry daiquiri – shaken with fresh fruit, served straight up – is an utter pain to make.
- A frozen strawberry daiquiri is at least a thousand times easier to make.
- I have refused to serve a drink to a customer because it was too tasty.
- I have shown someone how to make a Cheeky Vimto* at a “Cocktail Masterclass”.
- I have only truly regretted making out with one person when completely wasted.**
- I don’t know why, but I do actually like vodka.
- Whenever I try to brainstorm new drink ideas, I’ll come up with at least three drinks that are basically Cosmopolitans.
- You shouldn’t refer to yourself as a mixologist. If that’s what people want to call you, fair enough – but don’t put it on your business cards.
- You should be able to barback before you bartend.
- Getting 33 Seabreezes out of one 70cl bottle of vodka shouldn’t be encouraged, but I’m still proud of it.
- Twelve mojitos in six minutes, but I probably couldn’t do it again.
- I have more fun at work than it looks like.
- Good music makes a bar. Bad music, or bad DJs, bring everyone down.
- By good, I don’t mean scoring well on Pitchfork or in the NME. It means whatever plays well, whatever lifts the crowd.
- I thought Bombay Sapphire was blue for a good three or four years.
- Blue Curacao on ice cream is just flat out awesome.
- Bartenders are not as important as doctors, teachers, emergency services, soldiers.
- But we come damn close at Christmas.
- The customer is not always right.
- But they’re allowed to be wrong.
- I don’t like being drunk.
- Apparently, I get more sarcastic the drunker I get, which makes 22 seem weird.
- I’ll cut you off before you start falling over. It’s not personal.
- A good drink can totally make someone’s night. If I can make it, it’s an honour.
* Don’t ask. If you don’t know what it is, you’re probably better off.
** To date.
Hmm, oddly cathartic as an experience. Right, who’s next?