Meme: thinking to get drunk

February 6, 2009

There is a thing going round Facebook. It’s a lot like ebola, I think, because it seems that when you contract it, it kinda percolates for a little while before forcing things out that probably should have stay inside. That’s right, it’s the 25 things meme, as seen in proper magazines and forums, not to mention Facebook.

I am, of course, going to play. But I’m setting some rules. My list is going to be mainly about drinking. It just seems more appropriate.

  1. I don’t like whisky as much as I feel I should.
  2. A classic strawberry daiquiri – shaken with fresh fruit, served straight up – is an utter pain to make.
  3. A frozen strawberry daiquiri is at least a thousand times easier to make.
  4. I have refused to serve a drink to a customer because it was too tasty.
  5. I have shown someone how to make a Cheeky Vimto* at a “Cocktail Masterclass”.
  6. I have only truly regretted making out with one person when completely wasted.**
  7. I don’t know why, but I do actually like vodka.
  8. Whenever I try to brainstorm new drink ideas, I’ll come up with at least three drinks that are basically Cosmopolitans.
  9. You shouldn’t refer to yourself as a mixologist. If that’s what people want to call you, fair enough – but don’t put it on your business cards.
  10. You should be able to barback before you bartend.
  11. Getting 33 Seabreezes out of one 70cl bottle of vodka shouldn’t be encouraged, but I’m still proud of it.
  12. Twelve mojitos in six minutes, but I probably couldn’t do it again.
  13. I have more fun at work than it looks like.
  14. Good music makes a bar. Bad music, or bad DJs, bring everyone down.
  15. By good, I don’t mean scoring well on Pitchfork or in the NME. It means whatever plays well, whatever lifts the crowd.
  16. I thought Bombay Sapphire was blue for a good three or four years.
  17. Blue Curacao on ice cream is just flat out awesome.
  18. Bartenders are not as important as doctors, teachers, emergency services, soldiers.
  19. But we come damn close at Christmas.
  20. The customer is not always right.
  21. But they’re allowed to be wrong.
  22. I don’t like being drunk.
  23. Apparently, I get more sarcastic the drunker I get, which makes 22 seem weird.
  24. I’ll cut you off before you start falling over. It’s not personal.
  25. A good drink can totally make someone’s night. If I can make it, it’s an honour.

* Don’t ask. If you don’t know what it is, you’re probably better off.
** To date.

Hmm, oddly cathartic as an experience. Right, who’s next?

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One Response to “Meme: thinking to get drunk”

  1. helen Says:

    I have had one Number 25 drink in the last year. I had made the ‘mistake’ of going out drinking when miserable, after a really crummy day at work. Some friends took me for ‘just one’ and for once that was all we had. I ordered at random off the Tigerlilly menu and was completely gobsmacked when my drink came back with a pansy on top. The bar was dead quiet and the atmosphere relaxed- we sat at the bar and the barman was attentive but no intrusive. The whole experience- pink drink, unexpected flower- totally lifted my mood and saved my night. Possibly even saved my week in fact.

    I’ve had that same drink since, and the effect hasn’t been quite the same. I’ve also since been served it sans flower, which was A BAD THING. You can’t set a precedent and then not follow through.

    Worst thing is though, that now the flower is listed in the cocktail menu. The surprise is gone. That’s the sound of the magic evaporating.


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